Wilbert's Notice of Attendance - The RHS Chelsea Flower Show 2018

Wilbert's Notice of Attendance - The RHS Chelsea Flower Show 2018

May 11 , 2018

Shona Young

To my dearest friends,  

Well the day has finally arrived...  

Usually, as I am sure you all know, I like to wake at a leisurely pace. I find my slippers and nightgown and pipe. I pad through to the drawing room, peruse the day's paper and blow a cloud or two.  

Not today however. Indeed today I must rush! I am due to travel to London town. The Royal Horticultural Society are holding their annual Chelsea Flower Show. This is one calendar event that I never miss!     

Each year, I and around 157,000 visitors flock to the Show. The most affluent and respected persons can be found there. There is a sea of linen petticoats, top hats and silk gloves. Intriguing mementos and curiosities brim over in stands. The exhibitors inviting you to pass an eye over their commodities. 

I love the fresh hum that can be heard across the gardens: the gentle hub-bub of everyone enjoying the warm weather and the fragrant flowers. From the most delicate flora to the most vibrantly creative verdure, the Show can delight and overcome our elemental human senses. 


As usual my stall shall be set up and prepared for the opening day, although this year I will be at Stand E413.

I have already selected my treasured twines and precious products that I will be bringing with me. This year I have a wonderful collection that I am sure all my friends (old and of course, new) will love! But I will not be giving anymore away, you must all come to visit me instead.   

Well the coach is all loaded and ready to go. Soon I will be leaving the peace and quiet of my remote Scottish home for the bright lights of London.


Now I must get myself ready for the Show. Strangely I always find this part the more difficult... Last year I managed to forget my glasses and as we say in my house, I couldn't even see my own Daddles! (Hands).

So this year I am making a list, so I shan't forget anything. 

To remember list: 

☐ tobacco for my pipe

☐ my reading glasses

☐ father's pocket watch

☐ butter and cucumber sandwiches  

☐ handkerchief

☐ my tweed walking suit

☐ a small bottle of 'smothering the parrot' (I find that a neat Absinthe after dinner, does wonders for digestion).  

However before I begin the considerable task of packing for one's self, I intend to savour a rich brandy. I find that it is important to take a moment to collect one's thoughts and to enjoy one's own musings.

Friends, I feel I must tell you what Percy said to me this afternoon. I do still feel quite aggrieved. I was trying on my morning suit for the Show and he said I looked like a walking pork sausage. I am quite "poked up" about that remark! Perhaps it is a tad tight, but I must say, isn't he getting to be very cheeky for a relative? Balderdash to him!

Perhaps... on second thoughts, I better go with my tweeds in any event.   

I am very excited to think of all the new acquaintances that I shall meet. I shall endeavor to be perfectly sociable and well-disposed.    

So remember, I await you all at Stand E413. Be sure to come and see me, my fairest friends and prized acquaintances.   

Fare thee as well as I fare,
Abundant blessings,
Affectionately yours,    

Master. Wilbert Nutscene